things they don't tell you...
I'll say what you're thinking on all things family, friends, food, fitness & fashion.
I am writing to you as a mom today. I hope not like one of those "I know everything or I am super-opinionated" moms. (Don't get me wrong, I AM super opinionated.) I don't want to sound preachy I just want to validate my beliefs and try to show that maybe, just maybe, there is more than just one way to raise respectful and successful children and that one method doesn't work for everyone or for anyone every time.
Today's post was inspired by a seemingly know-it-all, judgmental mom at the park who gave me a dirty look when I told Madeline NO for putting rocks in her mouth.
Let other women make their own decisions and don't judge. I don't see why we can't all be friends?!
Before I got pregnant, I read and heard from all over the place that the new thing is not using the word "NO" with your child. Rather, use the distraction and redirection methods.
Distraction: Your child goes under the sink that is not childproofed. Take him/her away and introduce a new toy.
Redirection: Your child is throwing the tv clickers around. Give him/her soft balls to throw instead.
Now, I am a laid back mother and very active too. I chase Mads around like a crazy woman but also give her alone time to play. When I am not looking or when I am, she finds trouble as most 15 months old do. She knows the word NO and understands its meaning. Just the other say she looked at a family friend waiting for her to say NO before rummaging through her purse that was on the ground. She looks at the dog and tells her NO when she jumps up to grab food from her hand. She knows what it means. So why not use it?
Sure, NO doesn't always work. And it sure is a slap in the face when Mads yells a big old NO at me. But she is just testing me, doing what children do naturally. When NO doesn't work, I try distraction. I am not saying that I think it is a bad method but my point is that it doesn't necessarily teach anything better than NO does. What is keeping my daughter from walking right back over to what she was doing wrong to do it again? Nothing. I don't know about you but my whole day can't be dedicated to distraction.
I don't think there is one right way to discipline children. It is so individual, the same way that humans are individual. I equate it to learning. "Every child can learn, just not on the same day in the same way." Find what works for you and your child. And from what I hear... sometimes NOTHING will work. We just have to grin and work through it. Then drink wine.
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About the Author
I am Dom. A mom, teacher, novice writer, cook, wine drinker, and so much more- filling the internet with unsolicited stories, questions, dreams, recipes, and advice. I'll be the voice that tells you what everyone is wondering but no one wants to ask!